Words of Support: How to text a friend who has depression

Texting: How You Know We Care About You

Forget the phone calls, no more letters, and we all know your best friend isn’t going to send you a fax. It’s the small vibration that comes from our pocket or the brick that lights up on the coffee table, a text.

Texting is an easy way to let someone know you care, but it’s even more than that, it’s the preferred way of communication, especially for teens, allowing for a low pressure conversation, free of the burden of having to answer immediately. This doesn’t replace in-person conversations but it certainly can be a tool or the preferred way to bring up a difficult topic.

The Importance of Mindful Messaging

What’s the right thing to say? How do I say it? Will they get upset at how I word this? Even with the intent of being kind or helpful, our words can come out as being insensitive. Pitfalls are often not acts of insensitivity but mere accidents of less than appropriate verbiage exchanged in conversation. Some common pitfalls could be:

• I know exactly how you feel

• You should feel that way

• Let me know what I can do to help

• If you go for a walk, that could help

Avoid offering unsolicited solutions or making their struggles about “saving” them. Instead, focus on your connection and offer simple gestures of support. For instance, “We should go for a walk today” conveys a desire to spend time together rather than implying that their mental health needs to be “fixed”.

Simple Messages of Support!

Knowing the personality of who you’re about to check up on makes all the difference. For some people, a meme might be the best option. Know your audience. Some people might be more focused on you listening to their experience. These conversations should be comforting, but remember to be mindful about their boundaries. .

If you see something that you think a loved one or friend would enjoy, send it to them. Whether it be a recipe, quote, or cute cat pictures, the thought is what counts.

Here’s some quick examples of things to say:

• Just checking in. How are you doing?

• It’s okay to feel that way, your feelings are valid and understandable

• Anytime you feel like talking, I feel like listening

• Just letting you know I think you’re great, I’m glad we are friends/family

• You’re not alone, I’m here for you

• Just letting you know, I love you

Conclusion

Texting can be a powerful tool for supporting friends and loved ones struggling with depression. By being mindful of our words, validating their feelings, and focusing on connection rather than solutions, we can offer meaningful support and let them know we care. Remember that sometimes the simplest gestures, like sharing a funny meme or a heartfelt message of support, can make a significant difference.